First Of Many Creepy Experiences In The Roomz Of AA

G'day!  And no I'm not Australian but I want to give you, my reader, a friendly welcome as you peruse  this blog regarding creepy experiences I endured in the roomz (intentionally misspelled) of AA.  I have much material to cover given my over ten years as a member of AA.

So where do I start?  I'm casting about in my mind for something truly sickening and yet dramatic - there are so many instances to chose from I'm a bit lost as to which one to blog about on this first post.

OK.  I did a mental coin toss and this is the experience that won. Picture if you will a rough AA meeting in a run down room above the train station in Flagstaff, Arizona AA.  Outside the meeting room windows there is a nice view of the San Francisco Peaks - picturesque mountains outside of Flagstaff with the state's highest peak. Inside the meeting room, however, the view is not so picturesque.  I described this as a "rough" meeting, meaning many hard scrabble rough speaking and appearing AA members, mostly but not all male, attend this meeting. 

I found myself one July day in 1989 attending this meeting as I thought I needed a meeting and this meeting was close to where I worked. 

So - all that said, the meeting starts.  The usual readings from laminated pages are read, and then the meeting chair asks if there are any out of town visitors.  One man near me raises his hand and we learn that his name is Frank and he's from Chicago.  Frank from Chicago is well dressed (unlike most members at this meeting) and seems to speak as if well educated.  (I don't want to knock the others in the meeting on this one as not everyone gets access to higher education and although this blog is Anti-AA, I want to be fair here).

Frank from Chicago is one of the first people to share.  I remember his share so vividly as I felt such an urge to bolt from the room but I was also afraid to get up from my chair as I felt so unsafe being in the same room with this man.  SO - GETTING TO THE POINT -  What Frank said was that the prior afternoon he had stopped somewhere in New Mexico at a gas station and three men of the Hispanic race had started "being uppity" to him,  hassling him he said about being Caucasian.  Frank then reached into his car and pulled out his gun and had every intention of shooting all three of these men.  We further learned that he had placed ammo into the gun before leaving Illinois and for some unknown reason, there was no ammo in the gun.  (Lucky for the three men and lucky for Frank - Frank didn't strike me as the type who would fit in in prison).  Frank winded up by saying how wonderful his higher power was as his higher power must have taken the bullets out of the gun and the will of his higher power was that he should just drive away and let these men live.

OK.  So I'm sitting there very repulsed by this share and feeling unsafe in the room, wanting to bolt but afraid to do so.  Others speak afterward as if nothing Frank from Chicago had shared was scary or out of the ordinary.  Two shares after Frank a woman went on and on about how wonderful and forgiving her higher power was and how the envelope of love and light would embrace us all if we just surrendered ourselves to it.  Uh huh.  Whatever.  Let's just say that at the end of the meeting I made sure I was some distance away from Frank from Chicago so I wouldn't be holding his hand during the Lord's Prayer. 

So something else.  After the meeting when the true believers were getting ready to head for Denny's for coffee after the meeting, Frank from Chicago was invited.  After his creepy share.  For all we know Frank could have had a rap sheet a mile long.  Perhaps there had been another similar situation the day before he was in New Mexico and maybe there had been bullets in the gun that time? For all we know that could be, as we know nothing of the people who sit next to us in AA. There is no screening of members of any kind and there are no safeguards in place at AA meetings to prevent violent and/or unstable people from committing predatory and/or illegal acts on other members.

OK.  Anyone reading this who has not been brainwashed by the cult that is AA is (sanely) going to wonder - given this experience, why didn't I just stop going?  Fair question.  I am embarrassed to admit I was brainwashed by the group belief that if I left AA, only jails, institutions, or death awaited me.  But I was sure creeped out by Frank from Chicago and even further creeped out by the fact that he was invited to coffee as if such a share at a meeting was a normal, respectable thing.

I am not proud to admit I remained in AA for several more years.  LOL.  At least having stayed in longer provides me with lots and lots of material for this blog.  Enjoy, and please comment on any creepy experiences you have encountered in the roomz of AA (or NA).